Bring Out The Measuring Tape

When you get deep into any fandom you eventually run into a segment who like to impart their knowledge on you whether you asked for it or not. Know-it-all is the common term for these kinds of people. They are known as overbearing & uncompromising. This is most true within idol fan circles where they come in abundance. The know-it-all idol fan is probably the most annoying breed you will encounter in the wilds of fan society. Even more annoying than the screaming guy who keeps hitting you in the face with his glow sticks at concerts or the overzealous merchandise whore.

Respect The Cock

If you are a new person to any idol group & its associated community watch your back for this beast waiting to pounce on you. They don’t like you invading on their turf with your noobness and any small inaccuracy they deem to be so offensively wrong that they are compelled to correct you will set them off.

They will attack by whipping out their virtual long dong silver & slapping you silly with it until you concede to their point of view. After all, they are the pinnacle of what a fan should be & all others are beneath them.

Unfortunately the current idol fan culture seems to encourage the breeding of these jerks whose only purpose is to deter others from wanting to learn or become active participants in their chosen communities. There is a fear of being jumped on for not being as knowledgeable and if you do speak up about anything you are labelled “ignorant” because you fail to recognize the finer details that a lot of these picky know-it-all types love to harp on.

To make things worse these people have the nerve to say, “If you need any help figuring things out, ask us.” after they’re done with their “holier than thou” brow beating of rookie fans. Seriously? This is how the welcome mat is rolled out huh?

Respect My Authority

It’s this kind of bitch-assery that I encountered recently. As many who read this site regularly know, I have been diving head first into the world of AKB. I openly admit that I am a noob. If you list off a bunch of names I can probably recognize like 5.

I have a particular way of learning about large organizations with many members and that’s by association. It’s how I learned about the various members, groups, sub-groups and offshoots of Hello! Project. I look at the big picture first and then break things down. During an online conversation I apparently made some sort of large offense by saying that a member of SKE48 (Matsui Jurina) was part of AKB48.

Technically that’s correct right? I mean she is part of some of the major AKB singles sometimes listed under the members section with the other Matsui (Rena) under SKE48 or Team S from what I’ve seen on discographies. But apparently that was completely and utterly wrong in one person’s eyes & berated me for not knowing the difference between the entities of SKE48 and AKB48.

One innocent comment turned into a conversation that should have never taken place and a certain card was played which basically goaded me into a fight. I actually do know the difference between SKE & AKB but you know, trying to explain my bigger picture scenario fell on deaf ears. Thankfully the whole unnecessary farce was ended when I just gave up & blocked the person from ever speaking to me again.

We all know what arguing on the Internet really means and honestly I did not want to be one of those “unique snowflakes”. This stupidity was a reminder of why I don’t associate with certain people/fans online or in real life. I also remembered why I have been hesitant to enter into other fandoms.

It never used to be like this. When I got into this whole idol thing six years ago the know-it-all douche bags were still stuck in their caves, caressing voodoo dolls of their precious and shunning the outside world. Or maybe I was too oblivious to notice that they existed. I guess I can say I was lucky to find a few helpful souls back when I was a complete noob to the entire culture in general.

I feel sorry for new idol fans now. From reading other people’s sites, some of the next generation of mentors in idol fandom appear to be self-entitled jackasses. (Something I’ve been accused of many times because… Well I don’t kowtow to the idols like a good fan should.)

Obviously there are still those who have the intentions of nurturing the noobs, it’s just that they’re becoming a minority in the ever growing overseas fan base. Where some fans learned to be huge pricks is beyond me, but those of you who have such inflated egos and crappy attitudes should really get over yourselves.

These are idols we’re talking about. Not everyone is going to be super obsessive about them and as much as you would like to believe that your favorites will be around forever, that isn’t the case. Is there some sort of inferiority complex you people are suffering from that makes you act this way? Or are you just showing everyone that you’re an asshole by whipping out your e-dick & measuring tape out at every opportunity?

Am I saying I am a saint amongst all these sinners? No. I’m far from that. After all I call a lot of idol fans mindless Kool-Aid drinking zombies for putting up with some of the mediocrity that passes through the genre. But never have I resorted to calling anyone ignorant. That’s just like playing roshambo & going first with a running start. A cheap shot.

Anyone who plays that card as part of their discussions with any fellow fan (no matter what level they’re at) is pulling a bitch move and in my opinion their credibility is shot. It doesn’t matter if you’re a walking encyclopedia full of facts & figures about idols that would win you countless games of Jeopardy. Once that line of disrespect is crossed you’re just another fool talking out of your ass.

About Greg 1001 Articles
Greg is the creator, administrator, editor, code monkey, overlord and general jack of all trades at Selective Hearing. He can be found lurking among the overseas Asian pop fandom and bumming around Japan every year for some reason or another.