Ikemen Need Not Apply

One of Selective Hearing’s regular readers sent me a couple of tweets with some very interesting questions.

With the recent discovery of attractive young idols hooking up with older less than attractive men, do you think the fans perception of them will change from being girls that are unattainable to attainable?

Could this new awareness of possibility change attitudes in the fan base and would that be good or bad?

This is strictly from the point of view of a male fan seeking female idols.  As always the following contains my own opinion and does not necessarily reflect those of the other Selective Hearing staff or the site’s affiliates.

There is hope!

I’m pretty sure it’s common in North America and Europe to see ugly dudes with some fine ass women.  There are musicians, actors and guys with very deep pockets who are making sweet love to many lovely ladies on giant piles of money.

I’m not sure about Japan though.  I personally don’t follow many celebrities outside of the music industry and even then, I don’t exactly seek news about who is shacking up with whom.

Fujimoto MIki Tomoharu Shoji

With that said it is quite astounding to see the rising number of hot, young female idols who are hooking up with some rather (to be blunt) ugly dudes.  Leading man material these men are not.  More like Quasimodo when compared to the type of guys (like high profile male musicians and actors) that you would expect to score an idol.

A number of average looking comedians managed to somehow Borat Sack their way into the heart of many a pretty young thing.   Examples include Tomoharu Shoji and Fujimoto Miki and Saito Hitomi and Hachimitsu Jiro.  More recent news has surfaced linking Takahashi Ai to Abe Koji.

Saito Hitomi

None of these guys look to be the type that you would expect an idol to go for right?  Perhaps these women have acquired a taste for comedians after being around them for all their various TV appearances and programs.  Everyone loves a funny person right?  But in some cases love is very blind isn’t it?

Of course we all know of Masuda Yuka’s overnight adventure with DA PUMP member ISSA as well.  Even if you don’t like AKB you must have at least seen it on one of the many J-Pop news web sites out there and wondered why the hell anyone would risk their career with what equates to that guy.

Hachimitsu Jiro


Do these revelations shatter the image of unattainably?  Is it really possible for the average dude to plausibly score a woman of idol stature?

If we go purely by what we have seen so far then yes, it is completely plausible that these women are not precious dolls hidden away from society in glass cases and the mystique behind how to possibly become their next suitor has been obliterated.

If you’re ugly, funny, possibly have been a boy band member and are packing heat in your pants that are not rolled up socks then all you have to do is show up bathed in AXE Body Spray and let the idols come to ride space mountain right?

Masuda Yuka Election
Taking numbers and letting the good times roll baby!

Now that you’re full of confidence I’m going to burst your bubble and suggest you wake up from this dream because even though some of these women may have questionable taste, they are still on pedestals so high you can’t possibly reach them.

The whole point behind idols is to fuel a fantasy.  To be the ideal girl for millions of fans and make them shell out their hard earned money.  For this to be realized at its full potential they must be virginal and mostly untouchable.

Their power lies in being completely unattainable except in controlled circumstances where security can drag you out of the building if you get a little too fresh.  Without that they’re just another bunch of random girls you can pick up on the street, mall or local coffee shop.

So while the perception is that you, the average Joe can go just roll up to your favorite idol with your dick in a box and expect her to embrace you like you gave her the best present in the world; the truth is that just isn’t realistic.

But then again…

Now that is somewhat becoming apparent that non-ikemen status is cool with some of the finer idols around what does this new awareness mean for the overall attitude of fans?

Absolutely nothing will change.  There is that fine line between fan and idol that many dare not cross.  It’s a mutual respect that is engrained in the fan culture.  Love thy idol does not literally mean “love” thy idol.  Just because there is a glimmer of hope in the attainability department doesn’t necessarily mean there will be a sudden change in how fans approach idols.

The basic rule is you can look but you cannot touch unless approved by management for an allotted amount of time depending on how many CD’s and other merchandise you bought.

That doesn’t mean someone out there won’t be crazy enough to try.  I’m sure that some of you are thinking of bringing your own marriage sack to a handshake event just in case the opportunity arises.

But let’s say that perhaps there is a shift in attitude and everyone starts hitting on idols thinking they can score because a few set precedent with their relationship choices.  I don’t really see that as a good thing,  Do you?

Would you want to be grouped in with a bunch horny, lecherous perverts who want to bed young women?  Oh wait… You already are being an idol fan.  But I guess declaring open season on tapping that idol ass would make the stigma 10 times worse.

So if this shift in attitude were to ever come to fruition (and let’s pray that it never does.) it would probably be something on the level of the zombie apocalypse in comparison.  Management would be locking their girls indoors waiting for the hordes with their freshly bought condoms to cease their attacks.


Honestly while it may seem like there is a crack in the armor of attainability it’s a very miniscule one.  As I have stated above, the reality is that even though these women choose to date a less than attractive man, it won’t be you or your friends.

Continue to watch them from afar, enjoy them for what they are and leave the dream of having your oshi ride your magic stick at home.

About Greg 1082 Articles
Greg is the creator, administrator, editor, code monkey, overlord and general jack of all trades at Selective Hearing. He can be found lurking among the overseas Asian pop fandom and bumming around Japan every year for some reason or another.


  1. Well, Jiro and ISSA may not be so handsome, but I don’t think Miki’s hubby is that ugly. XDD He has more of the cute goofball look. And honestly, it really depends on personal taste, I don’t think there are enough examples to state that all idols are into ugly dudes.

    • It is true that current evidence is iffy at best but perhaps this could be the beginning of a trend of sorts?

      Whether this theory of hot idol/ugly dude stands up will have to wait until other idols of age are available on the dating market or screw up and get caught.

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